NBA creates Rivals Week to keep tabs on late January games



Prepare for rivalries! Or something.
Image: Getty Images

The NBA is doing its best, guys, give them a break. Schedule posts are only a big deal in the NFL, where teams have to play their best players every week, except for a possible rest at the end of the season. So even though Roger Goodell and his pals show up every year with photo giveaways like a twisted Santa doesn’t mean Adam Silver has to follow suit.

So, yes, the Christmas Day slate counts (as much as possible while sharing a bench with the NFL’s ever-expanding ass). Opening night is also significant in that the Lakers’ season has yet to lick the bottom of a sink full of moldy dishes.

And then there’s the conundrum of how to make content relevant when said sinkhole licking happens. The league office is still considering potential prizes to be put at the end of a mid-season tournament/rainbow that players don’t care to find, and there is no solution to the problem. ‘horizon. (Cut to Argent, in a room full of yes-me hipsters, shouting, “I want 50 more ideas by Monday! And, Greg, if you come up with a billion dollars one more time, I’ll send you to NBA Uzbekistan, then you can spot camels and halal!”)

However, this season the geniuses of Draper, Sterling, Cooper and Foghorn Leghorn brought up something called NBA Rivals Week. Stuck so far into ESPN’s article that no one bothered to prove it, the story says:

The NBA has also created an “NBA Rivals Week” for the week of Jan. 23, with 11 nationally televised games featuring various rivalries across the league, including battles for New York and Los Angeles and a rematch. of the 2019 NBA Finals between the Lakers. and Toronto Raptors.

ESPN’s NBA Finals matchups wish they had been on for 1,600 people, there are 14 nationally televised games that week, but maybe they’re not counting the games on NBA TV. But if so, then it’s only nine games.

Anyway, I don’t have time for semantics right now. There are glorious rivalries to be broken. Here is the TV file, by

– Hawks at Bulls (NBA TV)

– Grizzlies at Kings (NBA TV)

– Celtics in the Heat (TNT)

– Lakers Clippers (TNT)

– Nets at 76ers (ESPN)

– Grizzlies at Warriors (ESPN)

– Bulls at Hornets (TNT)

– Mavericks at Suns (TNT)

– Grizzlies at Timberwolves (NBA TV)

– Raptors to Warriors (NBA TV)

– Nuggets at the 76ers (ABC)

– Net Knicks (ABC)

– Lakers to Celtics (ABC)

– Pelicans at Bucks (NBA TV)

OK, some of them— The Grizzlies and the Wolves met in the— yeah, but how about Brother Ball— Sure, that’s just— I know— Please can I say something— OH MY GOD! LAKERS-CELTICS IS ONE OF THE GREATEST RIVALRIES IN ALL SPORTS! STOP NITPICING EVERYTHING I SAY!

Alright, quick shot because it’s all pretty obvious. The Knicks should play the Bulls, Heat or Pacers. Raptors-Warriors means something to the three remaining guys from this Toronto team. The history with most of these confrontations is less than five years old. The battles for New York and LA have already been decided. Embiid against Jokic is not Russell against Wilt. What are Pelicans and Kings doing here? And has anyone thought about the potential effect of load management on all of this?

The only thing that will make late January NBA basketball relevant — outside of people like me turning on League Pass like it’s a nightlight — is if all the disgruntled stars enter a one-on-one tournament. header and the winner is guaranteed to be traded before the all-star break. That’s it. It is the only way.

Can you imagine Kevin Durant and Donovan Mitchell chasing the right to get the hell out of Brooklyn and Salt Lake City respectively? Hell, the NBA could just give out the “GM of a Day” award, so the player can fix whatever ails him. LeBron James would accompany his opponents in the block for three consecutive weeks in order to drop Russell Westbrook.

The other option for creating rivalries is to do what baseball does and have opponents in the division play each other so much that they want to whip fastballs at each other’s domes. We know what creates bad blood, but only white sports can fight without judgment.

Teams play 82 games per play. The regular season runs from October 18 to April 9. That’s almost six months of matches. Some of them will be great, and some will be so bad that the Inside the NBA team will dump them before they even tip. Its good. Not everything can or should be fixed.

I understand that the bottom line gods need an offering. Just give them artificial bullshit instead.